Al-Jimzeera Weekend Round-Up

* Tomorrow's Pack Page Headline? TOUCHY FEELY!

* What is the correct length of men's pubic hair when trimmed? I used the old 6 blade on 'em--I don't recall ever having trimmed the short/curly forest before. Because I didn't want to screw it up. Quite a bit more ruly down there. But what's the thinking? I know which way the pornstars go.

* I sucked my thumb regularly until I was in my 20s. There was a very specific routine: rubbing the lip of a pillowcase against the indent in the center of my upper lip during suckage. These are the kinds of things you want to hear, right? It was a sublime habit: in trying to recreate the experience I could not recreate the pleasure. I felt empty inside when I used to feel filled.

* I like the Mets' Delgado trade *a lot*. I was surprised to find New York Post letters from angry Mets fans. (Do *real* Mets' fans read the Post?) Being a Mets fan isn't something that happens because you're smart--pragmatically, who wouldn't be a fan of the Evil Empire? It's because you were born into it, you adopted it, you love National League ball, you live across the street of Shea or you just plain hate the Yankees. There hasn't been a Mets team with this much expectation on them since the Alomar free agent catastrophe of 2002. With Delgado batting clean-up, you gotta think the line-up will look like this:

Reyes SS
Beltran CF
Floyd LF
Delgado 1b
Wright 3b
Nady/Dias RF
Molina/Hernandez C
Matsui 2b

Even if Nady/Matsui are loose links, you're talking about some serious run n' gun there. Stay healthy and stay flexible, and the Mets and Braves can be in the mix. If they get a Billy Wagner-type closer. Aaron Heilman could be a first half Plan B (Keith Foulke could be had on the cheap: a Foulke/Matsui swap?). I like the Phillies robbing Rowlan off of the World Champion White Sox (They waive Frank Thomas only to pick up an equally diminished Jim Thome? *Mystifying.*) If the Phillies keep Wagner, they should be in the mix. We'll know tomorrow or Tuesday (The Red Sox are also in the mix. I'd rather the Sox go with the youth movement and try Hansen/Foulke to close). Omar, please call Pokey Reese--a slick glove at 2nd base would have won at least 3 of the games I watched at Shea this past summer. Or talk Fernando Vina out of retiring. What will be exposed this year is Willie Randolph. Why did he continue to call Braden Looper's number past the point of no return? Why did he ice Aaron Heilman until WFAN petitioned for his return? Willie is a Torre clone: the trouble is, the Mets haven't won anything and don't have leaders like Rivera & Jeter. Willie has to prove that he won't be outmanaged. He has to pull the trigger with confidence. And he has to show Pedro who's boss. Remember Grady Little. 7 innings, then Hernandez in the 8th and Closer in the 9th. Hot stove, eat your heart out. Delgado might not stand up for "God Bless America" (Do we really think the victims of 9/11 would want that song to be their dirge?) but he does make the Amazin's worth talking about again this offseason.

Al-Jimzeera Update: Mike Jacobs? Would he continue to hit .400 against Lefties? Will he hit a homerrun every 10 at-bats over the course of his career? No. He's a nice Shea hitter (doubles to center and left, homers to right). He also had 22 strikeouts in 100 at-bats. I guess we'll see if he goes .375 OB .710 SLG this year (in a cavernous football stadium, no less). Let us also remember the immortal Ty Wiggington's number's in his rookie/career year (in 116 at bats). Very similar to Jacobs' rookie year. What did Jacobs bat, 6th? On the watered down Florida Marlins/Future Portland Oregon Beavers he'll bat 5th or 3rd around Miguel Cabrera. He'll see good pitches. Generally in baseball we bet the guy who has 384 career homerruns is going to continue to get homerruns and guys with 10 over 100 atbats might not. Everybody loves a Benny Agbayani--he got 14 in 101 in 1999 and 15 in 119 atbats in 2000. Jacobs is nice and cheap: no one is going to intentionally walk him in the late innings and no one is going to pitch to Cliff Floyd rather than pitch to him. Let's talk in late September--if Mike Jacobs and the surprisingly resilient Florida Nobodies are up on the Amazin's, I'll buy you a footlong.