What the Hell is Up With Your Author Photo?: Daniel Nester

I'm mostly just digging on the look: his glasses tipped slightly too far down the nose. Somewhere between "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" and "Don't Squeeze the Charmin!" But this photo, like all good author photos, leaves me longing for more. Show me your widow's peak! Show me how far down you're unzipped! Where's that funky brick wall you're vogueing in front of? Or is it one of those brick-looking backdrops? Are you wearing pants? (Please tell me you're not wearing pants). These are the things I am thinking about. Also: what Queen song is running through your head at the moment that shutter went shudder? (Why am I thinking "Radio Ga Ga?" Don't tell me...don't tell me..."Tie Your Mother Down!" Definitely! "Get your party gown / Get your pigtail down / Get your heart beatin’ baby / Got your timin’ right / Got your act all tight / It’s gotta be tonight my little / Schoolbabe!" See I was hoping for a backdrop of scenic, rustic Albany with Dan standing on a pile of dead and naked bodies with a sign that says I AM THE COOLEST THING FOR 500 MILES! I think something like that would have set the right tone. But you know author photos, they have to be superserious and kinda sellout just in case some grandma comes along and says "You know, I've been alive for 240 years and I've never bought a book of poems. And look at this handsome devil, think I'll start with him." As they keep on saying, think about Ohio. Ohio will be singularly responsible for the complete loss of all American edge. Daniel Nester--you're sexier than this. You rock the bank teller look. But you are way sexier than this.

Thanks for playing our game.