Al-Jimzeera Talking Points

* Will The Post run a date photo of me in handcuffs?

* Lauren Krueger of Queens asks the right questions about the upcoming MTA strike: will there be looting? Oh, *yes*.

* I left my Sean Cole chapbook *someplace.* Looking forward to backtracking, it will be worth it.

* In my g-mail inbox at the moment across the new RSS feed they are running a Yahoo News exclusive. Why do they even pretend to be seperate companies? We all work for a guy named Steve.

* 14 hours to Kong.

* Most Likely to be 13th Stepped? Colin Farrell: good luck in rehab.

* The Whitebread Awards should be known from now on as "The Zadies." See blurry concept sketch photo above. They could be filled with chocolate and Chris Rock could host. So far I've failed to capture her trademarked baleful look. Smith is *very* skeptical of the project.

* Jim's Golden Globe Picks:

Best Motion Picture, Drama:
"Brokeback Mountain"

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy:
"The Producers"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama:
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama:
Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy:
Johnny Depp, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line"

Best Director, Motion Picture: Peter Jackson, "King Kong"

* You know what's so 5 minutes ago? Teachers expressing public consternation with their students. We remember McHugh's off-med *meltdown* at the Acadamy CUNY reading. And my recent fanmail. Kids pay too much money for you to make fun of their efforts. I think of the Durang: "Dead people put food on this table! Dead people put a roof over this house!" Get over yourself, teachers! There is no creative writing professor in America that couldn't get replaced and go unmissed in fucking seconds. I've said it before: students got you surrounded. You work for them. Don't you forget it. 22 year olds of the world unite! Form of sex pretzel! Don't let old people project: we all wish we were still nubile and fresh and not bitter and blah.

* That the BEST AMERICAN POETRY 2006 has already been selected is unsettling enough. Have you been selected? Are you the editor? Because if Frank Bidart's "Third Hour of the Night" doesn't appear in it, well, I predict a riot.