Al-Jimzeera Talking Points

* I don't think my new fake glasses match my old ones. What do you think? Jordan thinks the other ones looked cooler. The movie theater people were really helpful and nice. If you have to lose something, lose it at Broadway and 13th, I guess.

* Nady for Cameron: Hmm. I like it. Cameron's been trade bait for a year. He has to pass a physical after the horrific crash his face made against Carlos Beltran's face in the outfield. That's why you don't want 2 centerfielders, folks. They both had the right of way and they both went all out. This seems to be a money-clearing deal, too. Maybe Manny and Billy Wagner will be in the field at Shea. That would be a helluva nice team on paper. But baseball games aren't played on paper. They're played on Human Growth Hormone. I like GM Omar Minaya as a buyer better than I liked him as a seller. He seemed like a weird blabbermouth on the Expos, always seeming to overplay his hand. He's Joe Cool now that he's got money and players and a team that's hungry to win. This is the first pawn that's moved for the Mets in the offseason. So far, I'm with you. But 2nd base?

* Marcella Durand reports that Ashbery knows about Ashbunny. And his assistant is really named "Jeffrey." Hello, boys! Al-Jimzeera Update: It's Marcella Durand's birthday today.


* Has Bob Woodward had some kind of vicious head injury? Did he collide in Center Field with Carlos Beltran? He's a seasoned veteran reporter and insane freaky attention ham and he just happened to be the first to ever hear about Plame? And we find this out *Monday*? Something smells fishstick. He's probably making it up to be at the center of this story, too. It's usually all about him. And if you're a reporter and didn't know about the Plame Indentity you're *nobody* apparently. Has anyone subpoened Drudge? Where were you in June 2003, buddy? Do you still wear that little hat? Don't be suprised if this is a Cheney Gambit to ice Fitzgerald's charge at Scooter. O Scooter hold me. There had better be an Untouchables "we arrest or shoot everyone" montage in this picture show. Give me Rove! I want to eat Rove! But it will probably just be Ari Fleischer, and he's a huge Yankees fan so he's got enough worries right now. Will they move Matsui to center? I think he plays better there, myself. I love Matsui. B. J. Ryan and Tom Gordon and Rivera? But who will pitch the 5th and 6th inning? Randy Johnson? Jared Wright? Carl Pavano?

* Berriganpalooza last night went off without a hitch. I dumped a Pepsi in a tree. It was probably the wrong tree but *still*. A full house on a rainy night. Eileen Myles revealing Ted's secret lesbian history. Nice to see everyone.

* Foetry just found out about Josh Corey's F0etry post. It took them a little while longer maybe because of the zero. But why googleproof a blogpost if you got something to say? Is Joshua Corey afraid of the folks at Foetry? And if so, why? Isn't there something dishonest and cowardly about taking a big stand and not wanting the people being stood against to find out about it? Maybe the 3 sharks said it better:

You can go down looking brave and unafraid to take a stand or you can put zeroes in, I guess. You're better than that, Joshua Corey.

* Titling e-mails to me "This is Not *Spam*" is not a bad idea.

* Big Chanchellors Reading tonight! Sleep with mainstream poets! Who's with me?

* Sent back the NY Post Dating Questionaire: My favorite answer:

11. If we were to ask your best friend about what kind of man/woman she/he would like to see you with, what would they say?

Some kind of living saint. Mother Teresa crossed with Maggie Gyllenhaal. Or just Maggie Gyllenhaal.

* Voice-over work is great! I was a ninja general! And a big screen repairman! Didn't get to meet any of the puppets, but maybe that would fuck up my whole process, you know. Knock me out of my zone. It's hard to remember the crazy voice you just made as you are flipping pages to the next "Yes, Lord."

* The difference between Mischa Barton's breast being exposed on TV and Janet Jackson's? No complaints yet. Maybe the FCC's move against Jackson was racial. Cute white girl's breast pops out on an edited show that could have done another take? Nothing. Old black lady's floppy breast spills out for a second on live tv? Culture War.